318K views · 9.9K reactions | “Last week I found a guy’s wallet. Inside was a picture of my two kids.” : Opening Night at Rodney’s Place, 1989 | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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“What a doctor. I called him up, I told him I had diarrhea. He put me on hold.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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351K views · 4.5K shares | “Everytime I set the alarm, my wife turns it off. She says what I earn, it don’t pay to get up.” | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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“I tell ya, with my wife there’s always something. Like the other night, she said to me, ‘When’s the last time you thought about taking me out to dinner?’ I told her, ‘It was right after the last meal you cooked at home.’” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“I tell ya, with my wife there’s always something. Like the other …
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219K views · 6.4K reactions | “Hi, this is Rodney Dangerfield. I don’t get no respect, but today I’ve got a secret.” : I’ve Got a Secret, 1976 | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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297K views · 8.5K reactions | “No respect at all, are you kidding? I was arrested for jaywalking. The crowd kept yelling, ‘Don't take him alive!’” | Rodney Dangerfield | Facebook
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“In my neighborhood there’s always problems. On my block there’s a beautiful children’s zoo. Last week four kids escaped.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“In my neighborhood there’s always problems. On my block there’s a b…
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180K views · 8.4K reactions | Jay Leno shares his touching final mo…
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